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Enter the Void – the year that was


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I believe in world peace.

I believe that all men are created equal.

I believe in the Force, America, freedom, the Tooth Fairy, a bearded man in the sky, Jesus Christ.

 

Beliefs are cool but in the words of Tyrion Lannister,

“words are wind.”

 

They say faith without works is dead, and I’ve often felt that to believe something you need to be living it. Otherwise you just like the idea.

But what happens if that “living it” takes over. What if that action becomes the only sign of faith, does it just become empty ritual… and how can you tell?

How can you tell when you’re so caught up in the doing that you’ve stopped being.

When you’re more Martha than Mary.

How can you tell when the things you do sneakily become  the relationship you have, instead of overflowing from it. And does the fact that I even have to ask a sign things aren’t right?

 

What seems like an eternity ago I embarked on some travels, part discovery, part losing things along the way, part chasing dreams & passions. A journey which saw me hanging out with the houseless in Hawaii, and sharing tears in Palestine.

A journey which saw me stop writing. A little bit awkward if you keep a blog.

And in amongst the travel weariness, shameless self promoting selfies, new experience buzz, innocence lost insight, humanity rediscovered, crisis uncovered, laughter, tears, solitude and connection, was an invitation to enter the void.

 

I would summerise my faith journey this year as an invitation to enter the void. The laying down of things near and dear to me, let the chips fall where they may.

I started writing this post early 2014. I’ll finish it in 2015. Apart from a couple of YouTube videos, quotes & previously unpublished poems, I only wrote one post last year. And while very little of what I write sees the light of day I pretty much wrote nothing of anything.

I didn’t read much either, I made no videos, I didn’t volunteer, I didn’t go to church.

In fact I lost all desire to do any of these things, which was a little bit strange.

Concerning even, if I thought to hard enough about it.

 

emptiness1

Yet I felt strangely at peace with this invitation to emptiness, as if it were ok to be on this journey. Some how comfortable with the uncomfortable, or at least at peace with the process… whatever that might be.

Like rehabbing an injury, things aren’t right but one day will be.

Last year I attended a friends exhibition and was really moved buy the powerful stories and imagery, so much so that I bailed early, it made me think about my own travels, the people I’d encountered and their messed up situations. Maybe 2014 was the year I chose to shut down a bit instead of being overwhelmed by the worlds problems and my inability change things.

As 2015 begins I find a rekindled energy for some of my passions, a desire to read, to write, to create. I’m looking forward to finding and committing to a faith community, but that may depend on where I end up living. Somethings I don’t think I’ll ever resume, their time has past and I’m happy to let them go.

 

Love & Breathe. Here’s to doing coming from being.

Let-Go-Let-God

 

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Raindrops


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The 1st drop goes unnoticed, it’s not until after it’s raining that you look back and say, “yes, that is when  it begun”.

You notice the 2nd & 3rd, but you’re not sure it’s rain so you hold out your hand, and as you collect a few drops you look skyward just to be sure.

A few splashes on your face later & it’s confirmed, It’s raining. The choice now, is whether you do something about it or do you ignore. Do you change-up? Put on that jacket, run, seek shelter. Or do you ignore it, pushing it to the back of your mind & continue as before.

Choices, Change, and the ideas that led to them… for me they’re a lot like raindrops. By themselves they mean nothing, but when a few of them land on you, you’re brought to a place of choice.

 

I think the 1st raindrop was back in 2001, although I didn’t realize it then, nor could a fully articulate what I was trying to say.

I recently stumbled onto some old photos I once had in an exhibition in ’01, it was a doco-style series, “out of sight, out of mind“. It followed a sheep through a small abattoir. I remember one young boy of about 8yrs hitting the pictures on the wall, yelling at the “evil bad man” while his mother tried to pull him away & explain it was just art. Both were wrong.

Like that little boy you might not like the pictures below, feel free to scroll down to the next chunk of text. Apologies for the quality, these were taken with my phone. Some of these are test prints, some final, a sample  from the series Out of sight out of mind. Unfortunately I no longer have the final image.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The series finished with the a photo of the very 1st image (above) fashioned into a plate with a lamb chop on it (it’s been misplaced along the way).

The images weren’t meant to shock, or turn people off meat, or protest animal cruelty. It was a simple statement that we often don’t think about where stuff comes from or how it gets to us…

out of sight, out of mind.

 

A few years ago I finished a period of study which radically altered my view on Christianity, God, the world & my place in it. And on commencing paid employment and finally having a disposable income, questions began to pop into my mind about what I was doing with my money, what was I endorsing or supporting with how I spent my wealth.

The other day I read this, it about sums it up.

“Every time you spend money, you’re casting a vote for the kind of world you want”

– Anna Lappe

 

It seems a long time since I posted tree hugging conspiracy, I just reread it, it brought a smile to my face. This week I’ll be blogging about some other changes, the raindrops that led to them & whispers of things to come.