Author: pillscoffeeheresy

poetic, Uncategorized

i am a christian, i’m sorry

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Stumbled upon this on a friends facebook page. Sit with it for a while, I dig it…. a lot.


water changes everything

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I never fully appreciated clean drinking water until earthquakes put a temporary end to it, still my inconveniences in having to boil or buy bottled water pales in comparison to those in developing countries.

A friend is doing a Half Iron Man to raise money for clean water projects in developing countries, he’s a legend. Watch the video to see why…

consider sponsoring him here

check out for more info.


Reflections: one year on

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Yea I get it, I haven’t posted in a while.

I’m not sure why that is… the busyness of life, apathy, lack of motivation,  inspiration or energy.

Getting too caught up in life’s dramas.

Being stagnant.

Becoming too cynical to care.

I still have posts/drafts unpublished, in various stages of readiness, some started a little over a year ago when this blog started.  For some I’m waiting for a little bit more, or the timing to feel right… others I’m just too scared to post.

Here’s a few reflections looking back on the last year of posts & the promise of things to come…


Pills – I’m still wandering around the rabbit hole, the more I learn the more I realise how little I know.

Coffee – I’m to much of a talker.

Heresy – “God hasn’t finished with me yet”

Slow Hunch – I’m too impatient

blind – Sight’s a beautiful thing, yet sometimes I choose to be blind…. it’s easier

tree hugging conspiracy – the first conspiracy whisper, many more to come…

my iPhone challenge – a long overdue update is due

Wasichu – ouch, reading this still cuts me deep

i need to learn more how to pray –  I’ve been so richly blessed with some amazing people who inspire me and provoke


Dear church, pink, president  –  stagnant. this one has left me frustrated because it hasn’t happened in my timing…

dear me –  my greatest fear is that it wont happen, something I’m still very passionate about, more coming here over the summer.

tumbling – it’s almost summer, I’m very excited!!!!


Are you not entertained – I hope this isn’t all just entertainment


earthquake proof bubbles – I guess looking back here I didn’t quite appreciate just how traumatic it was for some, & painting a fence was for some people the only thing they felt they had control of….. still we do love our bubbles.

ring the bells that still can ring – I don’t do this enough, take the time to celebrate the small joys, especially in the chaos.

things I’ve seen – most read post, by a long way. Incredibly proud of how people/churches/communities responded. Still blown away by the giving of stuff & self…. and some of it is still seen on sunshine days 🙂

Patience – I love quotes, struggle with patience… am thinking a new look site with lots more quotes, I love quotes

love wins? we do love our stormy tea cups

neighbours and

bagged & tagged – labels, grrrr! more to come…

you want answers?!– so ummm, a lot of people didn’t like this one

love doesn’t win – I heart all rob bell’s, I’ll try to anyway


whispers of influence – you can always create beauty


ha ha Osama!!! – it’s just easier to hate


Walkabout – never again. I struggle to believe I did this, one of the most painful & rewarding experiences of my life, the world is beautiful.

Final reflections: I need to proof read more 🙂

Looking forward to another year & an updated look.

Thanks for taking the time to read & for the feedback – both good & bad.

Until next time, thanks!



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I’m trying to find my way & what it all means…

so sooner or later I’ll say something heretical, unintentionally or otherwise   😉

Sooner or later I’ll say something that will annoy, upset, anger or piss you off.

Judging by one very funny phone call… that has happened (in a way it was a very sad phone call).

Which I guess I was expecting eventually… not the phone call, that was surprising… but that i’d upset someone.


Instead of dismissing what I say, I hope you can be big enough to interact with it. Whether I agree or disagree with what you say, I’ll still respect you for saying it.


So I’ll call it how I see it, feel free to call me out.



I’d like to leave you with the words of one of the 20th centurys greatest theologians, social activists & commentators,


“If I upset you,

don’t stress,

never forget,

that God hasn’t finished with me yet”.

– Tupac Shakur




“There’s two kinds of people in this world, when you boil it all down. You got your Talkers and your Doers. Most people are just Talkers, all they got is talk. But when it’s all said and done… it’s the Doers who change this world, and when they do that, they change us. And that’s why we never forget them. So which one are you? Do you just talk about it? Or do you stand up and do something about it? Because believe you me, all the rest of it is just coffee house bullsh!t.”

– Roco, Boondock Saints II.


I love coffee cake, coffee ice cream, coffee chocolate, coffee milk shakes, the smell of coffee beans, of coffee peculating. Yet for some reason I don’t like a hot coffee, I can count on my hand the number of times a year I have a coffee.

And I can’t stand bitter coffee.


If ‘Pills’ was an invitation to explore faith, God & beliefs, then ‘Coffee’ is what we do with it, what this blog is or isn’t about.


Are you a Talker or a Doer?

I like to talk, I love to listen to people share their beliefs & how it affects their lives, I love to hear about what fires people up & gives them a hunger for life.

I hope that this blog can be a place to facilitate some great discussion.

I hope this blog facilitates more than great discussion, but leads to some doing. Because at the end of the day I can “believe” in the Easter Bunny, but if it has no impact on how I live my life what’s the point? I can believe in a God who loves the poor, yet if I don’t go out of my way to walk with the poor then what’s the point?


If a value or belief doesn’t lead to action, do I truly Believe it?

Or do I just like the concept.



I hope this blog doesn’t facilitate Bitter Coffee.

Bitter Coffee is generally made by people who are dissatisfied with church, sometimes they meet with like minded people over coffee, sometimes that becomes their new church, sometimes all this new church becomes is dissatisfied people sitting around drinking coffee with an air of spiritual-elitists-arrogance, getting bitter….so bitter that it permeates the coffee.

Let me just make this clear, I’m all for house churches/organic church,

I have nothing against people being dissatisfied with church, I’m one of them. I’m dissatisfied with church, yet I love the Church & I can’t stand Bitter Coffee.


I believe that anything can be questioned & no question is off limits. There are practices and beliefs that are facilitated within church/Christianity which just make me cringe, that I believe don’t have any place in following Jesus, but have become so ingrained in Christian culture.

My criticism/questioning of them is not to make me feel like a better person or because I think I’m a better person, but to push for change.

It’s not because I don’t care about the state of Christianity, but because I do.



In the words of Roco, I don’t have time for bitter coffee house bullsh!t,

I do have time to be a Doer.




After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes”.

– Morpheus



Red pill. Blue Pill.

Choice, Invitation.


This is the dilemma I found myself in….  while playing a Matrix game on xbox.

I chose the Blue pill just to see what would happen.

Game over. Roll credits. Shortest game I’ve ever played.



Choice & invitation, some of you may be here out of curiosity because you know me, once the talk of spirituality, God & hugging trees starts you may begin to have serious questions about my sanity & find yourself reaching for that Blue pill never to return.

No hard feelings, this blog isn’t for everyone…

If it makes you feel any better, once we get a few posts in some of my christian friends will be having the same thoughts 🙂



The rabbit hole in question is exploring faith, beliefs, spirituality,

and in particular,

how that shapes us and our interactions with the world.

I don’t have all the answers… I’m no guru.

Or saint for that matter.

And  I’m certainly no Morpheus…   I can’t show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.


If anything I’ve stumbled into the rabbit hole & have been wandering around since….


So will you wander with me?



And what we do with our faith & beliefs, what action we take… well that’s better discussed after some coffee.